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[10 Apr 2006|09:53pm] |
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The Future Freaks Me Out- MCS |
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New Journal ADD IT BITCHES
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) easyluckyfree19
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[03 Apr 2006|02:56pm] |
Today I threw up... next to Sissy Bitch.
First up date in over a month... woooohooooo
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[26 Feb 2006|03:07am] |
I'm a fucking insomniac. I never sleep anymore. I run solely on coffee. I need to go back to the way I was at this time last year. I can't keep pretending that I don't want to. I know I want to. I don't care if i get caught this time. I don't care what people think about it. I love when people try to change my mind for me. I freakin love that one. Or when people are the morality police. Thats a real kick in the pants.
Without 40 ounces of social skills
I'm just an ass in the crack of humanity.
I'm just a huge manitee.
A huge manitee.
And besides you're probably holding hands
With some skinny, pretty girl that likes to
Talk about bands, and
All I wanna do is ride bikes with you
And stay up late and watch cartoons
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[22 Feb 2006|08:12pm] |
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 drained |
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Glenn Miller |
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So for the most part this week was deez. I can't wait for summer it is going to be so good. The only part that has sucked is that I have an ear infection. I went to the hospital today for an appointment and they ended up telling me that I have a double ear infection and that's why my head has been hurting so much etc. I'm over it though. Today I had a really good conversation with a kid I haven't talked to in a while, I've really missed him and I love that we talk more and more each day.
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[17 Feb 2006|08:54pm] |
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The Frug- Rilo Kiley |
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I hate when you know that you're perfect for one another but they don't see it.
anyways we should hang out over vacation cause I'm a fun girl like that.
Oh and I can do THE FRUG
and I can not do THE SMURF
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| love is watching someone die. |
[12 Feb 2006|09:15pm] |
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Today I put paint handprints all over my wall. then just threw paint on everything. I'm out of a job yet again. I can't work there, not when everytime I go there i will see him. I don't hate him, honestly I don't. I'm just really disappointed in him that he did it. I still hope things go well for him, and I'm of course still going to worry about him but I can't look him in the eye anymore. It hurts to much to even talk to him. So again with the job search. I'm still just getting the blood redistributed to my body. I've spent the last 15 minutes or so looking at my wall upside down. it clears my mind. I want to nap so bad but I cant sleep. Not now. Maybe I will just watch feris buellers day off. I doubt I even spelled it right but I'm getting over that. I'm tempted to take a long walk outside. If I wasn't afraid of going places alone I would go swing on some swings but well my life is hindered by my fears of being by myself. I used to be independent.Funny how many things will change in only one years time. I am so different now and I hate it. I hate how I am so dependent upon people, but I hate when people make decisions for me.Maybe I am just dependent on the company of others. By the way I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just venting to myself via livejournal. plus this is probably really comical for others to read. In other news Molly ringwald is the number one teen star. I love 80's movies. I still want to nap but I dont want to be by myself.IhatethisIhatethisIhatethisIhatethis.come over and nap with me please. i need something good to happen really soon. I need change, a change for the better. I want someone to just sit and cuddle. no strings no expectation. just some quality movies and cuddling by the fire. No talking, the silences mean so much more than what is verbalized. I would really love a Valentine. That would be nice. Hey Herman Melville. I hate you.
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[11 Feb 2006|09:25pm] |
So. I love how I caught him cheating. Seriously, how can you cheat on your girlfriend when she has a key to your house. ughhh. and i knew he was going to do it too. I KNEW. Ever wake up with that unbelievable feeling of dread? yeah got that yesterday. Spent most of today crying but then I realized that I felt alone even when I was with him, I guess it just sucks to be cheated on. I need to find a nice guy i honestly do. and Aj has a girlfriend, not that I want to be with him, cause well some of my worst moments in history included him, i just dont want someone else to be with him. i hate feeling alone, it scares me so much. nice boys should take me on dates. I swear Im a fun girl. hahah.
p.s. eating icecream when its 17 degrees outside is amazing.
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[01 Feb 2006|11:06pm] |
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definately stole that icon from steph because we have to see this movie like asdybnjkaefnbjhrnjhnskjadnvlkjansdf.
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[29 Jan 2006|02:47pm] |
what should my new journal be either:
WhatSarahSaid19
or
xxwhatAdollxx
i cant decide
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[18 Jan 2006|10:32pm] |
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drained |
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the sound of my brain exploding in my skull |
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I HATE DIET SUPPLEMENTS!
I felt sick all day during school which led me to come home and sleep all afternoon until eight which leaves me with this lovely to do list
SHOWER
study for english midterm.. which I prolly wont do
study for THREE history tests
Math homework
bake cake for study party tomorrow
basically i am not going to sleep tonight even though I am still ridiculously tired because these 21 day cleanse pills are still making me sick and shaky
not to mention all the phone calls i have to return slash make to actually have this weekend work out the way it is supposed to. I wish I wasn't always the the organizer or the dependable one. everyone comes up with these great plans and I always end up making them all work.
FUCKING JESUS CHRIST beans has the tv so loud in the other room. ahh im going insane someone help meeeeeeeeee
tomorrow goes as follows
english-midterm
history- three tests
double math- god knows with durham
study- i will sit and listen to music and read moby dick because i hate that study
study again- PARTY cause soon we will be broken up.
sociology- coyle ... that is all i have to say about that
well i should go make some coffee
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| To fall is not to fail. |
[10 Jan 2006|05:50pm] |
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 ecstatic |
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I have all of a sudden had a burst of uplifting energy. things are so good aside from not having a job after the 21st so I applied at Old Navy ... getting a few more applications tomorrow to basically anywhere. so yea. I'm not quite sure why I am so happy now. I just watched this movie called "The Third Miracle" it was very good. I am so excited for this weekend seriously. Today in double study we had a Martin Luther King JR Day party.. it was so good. I love that study hall. anyways i had something witty to say but I lost it as per usual. this is boring
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[05 Jan 2006|08:29pm] |
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nothing... I KNOW WEIRD |
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I really want to get my tragus pierced but I don't want to go by myself because I'm a crazy like that... so come with me.
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[04 Jan 2006|10:56pm] |
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Down And Out- TAI |
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Take the first 10 songs that come up on Shuffle on your iPod and add in my pants
one RAIN in my pants.
two BELT in my pants.
three LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE in my pants.
four FIRST DAY OF MY LIFE in my pants.
five AMSTERDAM in my pants.
six WAKE UP in my pants.
seven WHY DO YOU LOVE ME? in my pants.
eight DANCE DANCE in my pants.
nine ME AND MIA in my pants.
ten DOWN AND OUT in my pants.
that made me laugh a lot and I pretty much love how that came out. I love shuffle play sometimes.
today was really good. yeah. really good. i really love when mrs. grant is sick ... is that mean to say? probably oh well... its basically like christmas come late like legit. I love days like this and that I'm going to waltham next weekend. seriously this is turning out to be the best week ever so far.
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| It sure as hell ain't normal... But we deal. |
[03 Jan 2006|11:49pm] |
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Pepper- Butthole Surfers. |
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I had an entry filled with change and hope all typed out but I decided that the words I wrote were not filled to the brim with feeling, if they aren't filled with feeling what difference do they make?
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[02 Jan 2006|11:20pm] |
My dad just helped me make an assload of bud butter.
so good.
He gave me so much weed today.
fucking love my dad.
I'm just not allowed to tell my mom.
soooooo good.
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| It snowed in texas but you missed the first time since '86 |
[01 Jan 2006|07:46pm] |
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mood |
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 looking forward to the future |
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Cross My Heart- The Rocket Summer |
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I am the happiest I have been in a while.
Seriously its like cutting a boat anchor off your leg.
like no seriously.
I am so happy that we broke it off, I knew it wasn't going to last and I knew we weren't right for eachother ... we're still best friends and I love him for that, I just can't love him more than that. It's totally destructive for me when he is always leaving. I need something stable and I guess I finally realized it and I guess he did too. I died every time he left and I died whenever he looked at Britni and Ella the same way we looked at eachother in the beginning. I just don't like to be alone and I think I'm scared that it's going to last this time, and causes me to jump into things that I don't want nor do I need them. I think the excitement of a new relationship blinds me from the reality of what it is. I think that maybe I shouldn't be afraid of being alone any longer. Alone is probably better than trying to hold on to something/ someone who isn't part of you. I think being so different was our demise, we live in two different worlds and have almost nothing in common. I don't want love, I want like, cuddles, and some cute times to put in the photo album. So will I jump into something new? Of course... even though I shouldnt? Still of course I will, it is what makes my life fun. But who is to say that it isnt going be great or even just what I need. The things unplanned are the best you cant get. The unexpected is what makes life exciting. These surprises are what make it real, beautiful and amazing. Regret nothing, I fear my life is far too short for ridiculous regrets, regret is like trying to change the past, it doesn't happen and is just a waste of time, mistakes are everything, they are the imperfections that create our world. We are all so perfectly human. We are all full of mistakes, not regrets. So lets be cute okay?
Its going to be good, I promise myself that because if I break that promise it doesn't hurt anyone and I like that.
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| 2006, here we come. |
[01 Jan 2006|12:04am] |
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Nothing like Ted Leo to bring in the new year. |
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The New year has come, another number has been latched on to time. To old friends and new love, to fun and the end of loneliness, to sucess and good starts, to good fortune and luck. Here's to the nights we'll feel alive. Let's hope it all sticks right?
Today I got a message on my phone which made me laugh for a good ten minutes. I've missed this person so much and I am so glad that we're talking again.
Someone take me to a show okay? I really need to go to one... so you're taking me right? Okay good. I'm glad we're in agreeance.
work 10-3 tomorrow
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[31 Dec 2005|10:02am] |
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 contemplative |
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Puella Quam Amo Est Pulchra- Bright Eyes |
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Have you ever thought about how maybe things would have been different if you hadn't said some of the things you did? Or that maybe what you really wanted all along would have come about if you had acted upon it in the first place?
seriously leave your thoughts.
Oh and Working with Anne is probably one of the funnest things ever. Her stories on wednesday were like Christmas come late seriously.
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